optimistic words on the holy union of marriage

To me, marriage appears to be one of the most boring and repetitive organisms existing in the known universe. You come home from work and she is there: How was your day today here is your dinner. You wake up and she is there: How did you sleep I've made you breakfast. Those things are sweet of her, and that sweetness is recognized at first but soon it fades to blandness. The food begins tasting like tree bark and her words float in and out of your ears like the dull buzzing of a refrigerator. No retention of their meaning.

Every. Day. She. Is. There.

The television becomes the third party in what was initially a holy union between two lovers, even though it didn't attend the ceremony and doesnt have the ability emote. But still it takes center stage and keeps the two lovers from discussing thoughts, feelings, and dreams. If, that is, the television hasn't killed those things already, which, if given the opportunity to breed in the mind of a certain type of person, it will do almost 100 percent of the time.

When the TV isn't enough, the couple will turn to other distractions:

- The internet. (there are funny videos of people getting seriously injured)
- Solitaire.
- Thunderstorms.
- Naps.
- The dog.
- The cat. ("Come here, kitty!" will be repeated far too often)
- Walks in the forest with hands locked rigidly together. ("It's cold today. I think it's suppose to get colder tomorrow and rain. That's what the news said.")
- Books. (There are some really erotic romance novels out there that will make your wife's pussy purr. Something you don't do any more. Maybe these will keep her satisfied so she doesn't go out and fuck the mailman or the pool boy or fall in love with a coke addict and fuck him passionately in the bathroom at a party while you LAUGH it up with friends in the dining room. Or maybe these books will be a catalyst for her pursuit of a steamy affair. It could go either way. She'll come home and wash the cum out of her hair and you'll never even know the difference.)

Stay distracted. That's the key to a healthy and happy marriage. Then on your death bed you both will realize how much time was wasted and how fucking pointless and trivial your existence has been.